[Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before ]

The Life and Times of an Invenerate Misanthrope

Kobayashi Maru’d.

2008-03-31

For those of you who aren't Trekkies or Trekkers or whatever (an increasing number) I'll let Wikipedia provide a better definition than I could.

Kobayashi Maru is the name of a spaceship in a training exercise in the Star Trek fictional universe. In the exercise, the "Kobayashi Maru" is the precipitating element in a simulated no-win scenario. The ship's name is occasionally used among Star Trek fans or those familiar to describe such situations.

The Kobayashi Maru was first depicted in the opening scene of the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, in which command division cadets at Starfleet Academy are presented with a no-win scenario as a test of character. This provided context for how the main character, Admiral James T. Kirk, deals with the possibility of unwinnable situations, and death in particular.

The training exercise in Star Trek II describes the Kobayashi Maru as a Class III neutronic fuel carrier-ship, with a crew of 81 and 300 passengers. The name is Japanese, and loosely translates as the ship named Kobayashi, with Kobayashi (小林) meaning small forest and being a common family name. Maru (丸) is a common suffix for Japanese ship names.

...James T. Kirk takes the test three times while at Starfleet Academy. Prior to his third attempt, Kirk surreptitiously reprograms the simulator so that it is possible to rescue the freighter. This fact finally comes out, later in the movie, as Kirk, Saavik and others appear marooned, near death. Saavik's response is, "Then you never faced that situation. Faced death." Kirk replies, "I don't believe in the no-win scenario."

Just as an aside, Kirk's solution just proves to me that he's an incredible cheat and a backstabber. Spock should' a hated this guy really.

Anyway, back to the point of this post-wherein I explain the title (stay focused, work the lock, and ignore the dogs).

When you're in a relationship you run into many Kobayashi Maru scenarios, and I had one this week...in fact on Sunday. Remember when I recounted the week after my girlfriend broke her leg? (if you don't click here), and the fact she'd dyed her hair brunette.

At the time I said...

"I was wrong; she actually looks pretty good as a brunette. It was a little unnerving at first though, like seeing pictures of Marilyn Monroe as a brunette, but it did suit her. "

Well I'm here today to tell you that was an outright lie. She looked ‘weird' as a brunette, and I honestly didn't care for it. I wrote that at the time because she was actually reading this blog and I could've done without the aggravation. Since she's stopped reading it I can finally say she should've remained a blonde.

The Kobayashi Maru scenario came about when she asked me point blank if she should've done it or not. Now there's no correct response to this question one way or another. None. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a doe eyed optimist.

So what did I do?

Most of you reading this will probably assume I fucked up and said I preferred her as a blonde. Based on some of the stupid things I'll I've shown myself to do, that's a safe bet.

Well, HA! I didn't.

Listen I know I said a mere 74 words ago that there's no right answer. This is true. I did. Re-read that statement though; "there's no correct response to this question one way or another."

That doesn't include playing neutral. That doesn't mean playing neutral by saying a bonehead thing like ‘I don't care' or refusing to answer the question-that just makes them madder if anything.

[Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before ]

Kobayashi Maru’d.

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